Friday, March 24, 2006

All Quiet on the Eastern Front

As you may have noticed, the last week has been pretty quiet, for both Iowa’s First and the real newsmakers. It seems that not much activity has been taking place on the ground here in Eastern Iowa. While bloggers for the various campaigns have remained almost as active as usual, I have noticed that they are mostly just recycling previous comments, adding nothing new of any substance.

So, the question must be asked, where are our candidates? Let’s venture to guess. I’ll start with the Republican candidates first, because they are the ones usually in the news. If you have any thoughts on the Democrats, please leave a comment.

Bill Dix: Representative Dix has undoubtedly been spending his time in Des Moines representing the constituents of his legislative district. While he hasn’t made the news with any bogus bills lately, I’m sure he’s trying to do “whatever it takes” to keep on top of his game. Reportedly, he’s been keeping his handlers busy asking them “Hey guys, what do you think we should do today?” Lucky for them, it’s not pumpkin season.

Brian Kennedy: Lawyer/lobbyist Brian Kennedy will probably claim he’s been off “fact-finding” in the tundra of Alaska, looking to prove that there is in fact oil in ANWR suitable for drilling. While this fact is already obvious to the rest of us, just like his Texas border stunt, his opponents will dismiss his adventure as a vacation. Ironically, everybody involved will all be lying, because Kennedy is probably in DC making a living.

Mike Whalen: Illinois restaurant mogul Mike Whalen surely has been in non-stop meetings with a crack team of corporate/campaign lawyers trying to come up with a plausible excuse for his FEC violations so that he can stay out of prison, let alone win an election. Rumor has it that their solution is to run more commercials to boost his ego, then take a poll to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the illegal ads are indeed effective.

Those are my presumptions. Where do you think they have been hiding?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brian's spending the day calling all of his supporters. Oh wait that would only take like 5 minutes.

Mike Mike Mike!

1:32 PM, March 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike is spending his days writing checks to Democrats.

1:45 PM, March 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike is taking phone calls from Ross Perot and Dave Nagle and they are thanking him for his support to their respective campaigns. Mike! Mike! Mike!

2:01 PM, March 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brian's asking Lamar Alexander to give him tips on good concession speeches.

Mike! Mike! Mike!

2:06 PM, March 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill Dix is reading Curious George books.

2:14 PM, March 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike is flying around the 1st District in his plane after being on vacation last week. I heard through the rumor mill Mike couldn't make any of George Allen events. Maybe Mike was visiting with Dave Nagle while Senator Allen was in Mike's district.

2:17 PM, March 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My guess, Mike is visiting with Al Gore.

2:28 PM, March 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does Dave Nagle support Mike? Somebody should ask him.

3:07 PM, March 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear Brian Dumas has already checked with his ol' boss Lamar Alexander on those concession speeches for his boy Whalen. Would be funny to hear Whalen and Kennedy give the same concession speech after Dix clobbers them both. Haha!

8:33 AM, March 25, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who is going to help Dix with his concession speech? As we all know Bill is a man of few words.....very few words. Bill didn't defend Terry Nelson ( his consultant) last fall and couldn't stand up to Whalen when Mike called him on his complaining about the Machine ads.

8:48 AM, March 25, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill Dix concession speech:

"I'll do whatever it takes to concede."

7:05 AM, March 26, 2006  
Anonymous RINO Hunter said...


How about an expose' on the FEC investigation and the Whalen suedo-response. I see on this blog and others people skirt around the issue and mention it without a whole lot of in-depth background. It would help clarify that people aren't making stuff up, but rather that this is a VERY serious issue.

8:11 AM, March 27, 2006  
Anonymous river girl said...

When will the FEC make public their fidings?

2:53 PM, March 30, 2006  
Anonymous Yoda said...

The answer you seek, Not known this is...

Soap on a rope, Whalen will invest, decision time come.

7:40 AM, March 31, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

More like, all is quiet on this blog...

Echo, echo echo.....

6:52 AM, April 02, 2006  

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